After entering your twenties, you begin to have a different approach to most things – not to forget even relationships. That makes relationships a different beast to handle than what you were used to in college or at school. If you are lucky enough to find someone serious, your focus shifts to making it work. So, without further ado, here are a few tips, tricks, and things to look out for as you enter the big, scary world of serious, long-term relationships:
Since you are out of college and have a more-or-less mature mind, consider looking only for serious, long-term, rest-of-your-life relationships. Focus on relationships where you can see at least some long-term relationship potential early on. Look for important factors such as career compatibility, family values, compatibility, etc. If you think this person’s left wing inclinations, or aversion to your smoking habits can pose a problem in 10 years’ time, then at least consider breaking things off early on.
When you are an adult, perhaps the biggest concern in your relationship is time. Chances are you’re both exceedingly busy. If you’re lucky, you will be busy, and free at the same times! If not, this is going to be really difficult. It’s important to be understanding of a partner’s commitments and priorities .They might not be able to spend all their free time with you, and you’ve got to be okay with that. That might not leave as much time for the both of you – at least not as much as as you’d like, but sometimes that’s just how it is.
When you are in your mid-twenties, money is, unsurprisingly, another big factor to consider in relationships. The real world literally runs on money, and so do relationships. Will you split nights out 50/50, or will the wealthier partner pay more? Will you go dutch in all big purchases? Can you afford her lifestyle? If you choose to marry or date a girl richer than you, remember that it can weave a disproportionate amount of power in the hands of the richer of the two of you. You need to figure out early on how to handle these sorts of economic imbalances.
After the major issues, come the normal idiosyncrasies in any serious relationship. For one thing, you’ll need to pick your battles, and the right ones at that! It’s absolutely undeniable that both of you will fight. Sometimes a lot. Usually the worst arguments will be over money, or why you forgot to call her, and inconsequential stuff like that. The only way to sail through these fights is to pick your battles wisely. Sure, they might have hurt you temporarily – but is it really worth a screaming match over?
It also helps to remember the power of compromise. Making compromises along the way – and in turn having your partner return the favor by keeping some more – is the secret to most mature relationships.
If you are in a long-term relationship, you’ll see things change. You’ll change, they’ll change, sometimes even your relationship and feelings towards each other will change. You will have to come to terms with that. If you don’t, these changes are going to cause serious problems, and can even lead the two of you to drift apart.
So, be prepared for change, and accept that no relationship can stay the same for good.
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